All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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