I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
