it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
