We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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