I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
