I smell stomach acid.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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