at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
