Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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