So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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