Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
