I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I have tasted many bathrooms
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
