Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I deserve this hangover.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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