You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
