marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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