you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
