I'm sorry my penis didn't work
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You ate ashes out of my bong
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
