Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize