Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
