Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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