Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize