I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
