This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
