I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm eating all of the evidence.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
