Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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