I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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