no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Drunk is not a location!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
