my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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