Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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