Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
