do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
