you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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