I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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