you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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