I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
