Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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