Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
