I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i love accidental penises.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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