I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
