Jerry, you need to find god
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
