quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
