Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
