problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
