I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
