I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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