Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
