That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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