it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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