I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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