You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
