I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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