i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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