how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
