we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
