Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
