i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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