Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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