I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
