You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
