The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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