4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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