yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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