haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
